CGGC eNews—Vol. 9, No. 40
I first met Gene in 1992 or so when I moved to Findlay to begin my studies at Winebrenner Theological Seminary where he served as the Professor of Theology. Gene had a profound influence upon me: he taught me to think critically, he forced me to think through my theology and ruthlessly challenged my cultural biases and faulty assumptions, and he helped shape my thinking in ways that impact my ministry today. In 1998 I became a co-worker of Gene’s when I accepted the role of Director of Recruitment, Church and Alumni Relations while he served as the Dean of Faculty and Student Affairs. Gene had always been a respected teacher and mentor, but it was during this season that he became my friend.
Gene was a brilliant, talented and charismatic man and yet those who knew him well understood that there was a quiet sadness or inaudible struggle that was always present with him. Sadly, it appears that his struggle with depression became too overwhelming in recent weeks and resulted in tragic consequences. I am heartbroken. I am angry. I am sad. I’m also filled with thanksgiving for the many memories that have flooded my mind this week as I have remembered my friend.
I hadn’t spoken to Gene in three or four years. We didn’t have a falling out or anything like that, it’s just how it is sometimes with friends as you move through different seasons of life (I got married and started a family, he moved about 20 miles away and our paths just didn’t cross as often as they once had). My last memory of spending time with him was a good one: enjoying a Bill Mallonee (a folksy, Americana recording artist that I had introduced Gene to years ago – Gene was a huge Bob Dylan fan and Bill Mallonee has some Dylan-like qualities to his craft) concert at Tiffin University, where Gene most recently taught. I will now never be able to listen to Mallonee without remembering my friend Gene.
As I’ve reflected on my friend’s life and untimely death it’s brought me to several conclusions in respect to the church’s ministry to those who struggle with mental illness.
- We desperately need to do a better job ministering to our friends who battle mental illness. We can’t continue to ignore it as if it doesn’t exist. We can’t continue to offer trite responses like “you just need to ‘let go and let God’”. We can’t continue to treat it as a sign of insufficient spirituality. We can’t continue to stigmatize this issue the way it is so often treated throughout our culture. You have friends that are battling mental illness, some of us have family members who are battling mental illness and most likely each and every one of us has someone in our local congregation whose struggle with mental illness is all too real.
- We need to do a better job in helping people find the help that they need. When a friend is diagnosed with cancer, we pray for them and encourage them to get the best course of treatment available: surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. We find Paul using the same sort of wisdom with Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:23 “Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.” I’m sure Paul prayed for Timothy as well, but he also used whatever current medical practices were available to address the issue.
Far too often, when it comes to mental illness, we want to simply spiritualize the problem: “if you only had more faith or if you just loved Jesus more this wouldn’t be an issue any longer or you just need to move on and be happy”. Forgive us Lord for the harm we’ve done to friends in need when we’ve offered simplistic solutions to incredibly complex challenges. Forgive us Lord for the times we’ve been like Job’s friends by placing blame or failing to be fully present in the suffering of others. Let’s use all the resources at our disposal: prayer, deep community, spiritual disciplines, counselors, physical health professionals and mental health professionals in addressing the complex problems presented in mental illness.
- Lastly, we need to do a better job of noticing and reaching out. There are people in our lives who can be difficult to love because of their struggle with mental illness. This was certainly true in the case of my friend Gene. Over the years I know I shared bits and pieces of the impact he had on me as an instructor, mentor and friend but I now know that I could have done so much more. Who do you need to notice today? Years ago I worked with a young lady who was battling mental illness and she shared Proverbs 14:13 “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief” as a window into her everyday struggle to survive.
There is someone in your circle of influence who may smile or laugh on the surface, but underneath lives a pain or sadness that is almost too much to bear. We need to be more perceptive my friends. We need to be more willing to risk the uncomfortableness of stepping into another’s suffering so that they don’t have to bear those burdens alone. We need to be more ready to help with the full realm of resources to help others address these issues. Too many peoples’ lives are in the balance, there is too much at stake to simply continue to live as we’ve always lived.
Ironically, during one of my darker seasons of life when I felt like I was drowning in a sea of sadness, when I felt like I was at the end of my rope, it was my friend Gene who reached out to me and offered me hope and encouragement in the midst of my own struggle to cope with life. How I wish I could have done the same for him. One of the best ways I can honor his legacy is to notice those in my own circle whose struggle with depression is all too real, to acknowledge it instead of stigmatize it, to be present in their suffering rather than avoid their pain, and to offer real help and encouragement rather than trite and simplistic responses. I would encourage you to do the same. Who do you need to reach out to today?
This past week I’ve had the chance to share many memories of Gene with many folks from around the CGGC. Perhaps you’d like to leave a comment here of a favorite memory or story of how he influenced your life.